38 weeks

My mom took these pictures of Manny and I over the weekend... chances are this is about as big as I'm going to get. Of course if I go very far past my due date I may be a bit bigger when the baby is born. I plan to have someone take a belly picture of me when I go into labor.

This week has been a little rough- I have had some pretty intense back and hip pain and it is hard to sleep (or walk!) sometimes. Normal end-of-pregnancy discomforts have me kind of looking forward to not being pregnant anymore. Not to mention, I am getting so excited to meeting this baby I have been carrying for what seems like a really long time now. But there seems to be no sign that I will go into labor anytime soon. He will come when he's ready... and in the meantime I am keeping busy and trying to stay as active and comfortable as I can.

As for the baby, he is still so active and seems to be very healthy :) My body and his are both getting ready for the big day I guess... wondering when it will be. I am now only 10 days away from my due date!

Full Term!

This is an exciting week for the Mayo family! My last day at work was Tuesday, and also as of Tuesday I am officially in my "safe dates", meaning I could have the baby any time and he would be considered full term! While there are some things I still want to do, and buy, we are ready and have everything we need. I picked up an extra package of Seventh Generation chlorine-free diapers yesterday- we'll be using those in the beginning along with the cloth diapers I have so far, while we decide which type of cloth we like best and build our collection. By the way, here's a picture of the ones we've gotten- it might seem crazy but I think cloth diapers are pretty cute :)
I am filling my days with books, crafts, baking, walking, relaxing and random pampering things like the amazing prenatal massage I got yesterday and the henna I applied today (in pic). I am trying to get my mind in a good place for birth- relaxed, focused, fearless. I often feel like I have little to say, but lots of thoughts; I'm very mellow and introspective. I've been journaling a lot, and writing/talking to the baby a lot too. I feel every movement now- I have no idea how he'll have any more room in there to grow! I wonder every day if it's the one in which he'll be born, but I am trying not to get impatient, and to really enjoy these last days or weeks before he comes.
Here's my hennaed belly- 37weeks,3days:

35 weeks, and counting...

I am going to be 36 weeks on Tuesday, and I literally feel it getting closer every day. I'm always wondering when it will happen- when will I meet my son? I think he's "dropped" as people call it- or engaged in my pelvis. I don't think it is obvious by looking at the shape of my belly, but I feel a lot of pressure from his head- more pain and backaches. He is getting stronger all the time, and is still very active. Sleep is harder to come by- I guess I am being prepared for new motherhood in that respect. I went to a breastfeeding class this week, which was good and really informative. In a few weeks I'm going to "Naturopathic Care of Your Newborn" by the same teacher, who is a really great naturopathic doctor and also assists my midwife frequently, so there's a chance she could attend my birth with Connie. We are getting ready- there is a list of supplies we need to have for a home birth, and Manny and I will go shopping for those in the next few days. Connie is coming to the house for my visit this week, so she can check everything out and make sure we're ready, etc. From then on I'll have an appointment each week until the baby is born. All of this makes me realize how truly close I am to becoming a mom- it's amazing.
Here's a picture- 35 weeks 5 days:

34 weeks belly picture

Yesterday Manny and I went to the Morikami for their "Oshogatsu" Japanese New Year festival. There was good food and taiko drummers performing, and it's such a beautiful place. Here I am hanging out by the koi fish and turtles:
On the Japanese calender, Seth will be born in the year of the cow, on the Chinese- the year of the ox. If he's born before the 18th of February he'll be an aquarius and after that a pisces, so he's right on the edge. I am not sure how much when you are born determines your personality, but it is interesting to read about.

Spirituality and Pregnancy

Pregnancy, birth, and motherhood are profoundly spiritual. It seems to me such a shame that society makes them primarily medical, material, mundane things. I am guilty of this thinking at times too- especially the material. I have great capacity, I have found, to obsess over things- after all, I do want to give my child the best, and lots of new things are needed when having a baby. But in the grand scheme all the stuff is not as important as acknowledging the spiritual nature of this time, and obsessing over it all can hinder a woman from the potential for growth. I have a few weeks left, and we are mostly prepared in the material sense. While so far I have not neglected the spiritual aspects of carrying this baby, I hope that for the rest of this time and into motherhood I will focus more on the deep connection to my baby and the potential I have to change and grow dramatically as a woman. This is a rite of passage, and can and should be a wonderfully transformative experience.

Six more weeks!

I haven't gotten photos from either of my baby showers yet, but I will post some eventually. I haven't taken a belly picture recently because I figured those from the showers would serve that purpose. I do believe I am still growing though- sometimes I feel pretty weighed down in front, haha. I'll try to take one for this week soon.
It's hard to believe that I'm 34 weeks, and that in three I will be considered full term. That is just amazing to me. I also have three more weeks left at the library- sad, but it will be good to be able to rest whenever I need to. I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping most nights, and of course it affects how I feel during the day.
Now that we have been 'showered' with all kinds of gifts from our amazingly generous friends and families, I feel like we're really almost ready for the baby to come. The crib is set up in our room, his clothes are folded and put away, there are pacifiers and tiny nail clippers and many amazingly soft blankets... I have cleaning to do, and still a lot of reading about birth and babies, and a little more shopping, but I feel like we're in the home stretch.
I'm surprised that I still feel so good. I remember looking ahead at the calender to January a while back and thinking I would be waddling around feeling really uncomfortable and huge by now. While I am sometimes pretty uncomfortable, it is really bearable. I still feel fairly normal and able to do things (as long as my belly doesn't get in the way!) I am thankful that Seth and I are both healthy- and so thankful that I had good information early on about nutrition and health during pregnancy (and that I listened to it). I know it has made a really big difference. My midwife says from her experience women who have a healthy pregnancy diet and exercise regularly even have easier, faster labors, as well as healthier babies. I am hoping this will apply to me (well who wouldn't) and I'm still doing what I can to ensure that it does. While it is more difficult to exercise now, I am trying to stay active all the way through the next several weeks and I feel a lot better when I at least do some yoga or go for a short walk. I am also trying to only put really nourishing whole foods into my body, at least as often as I can. Apparently his brain is developing more now than ever, so I want to give it good fuel. And a fresh, unprocessed diet with as much organic food as possible is best for everyone- you feel so much more alive. I plan to continue this pattern while breastfeeding- it is amazing how much your energy can be depleted by the typical American diet, and the last thing a new mom needs is depleted energy! I won't get on my soapbox about food right now though- I'll just sit here drinking my pregnancy tea and munching sprouted grain bread; yum! :-P

Nearly 33 weeks now...

What a great and busy week it's been! Christmas Eve and Christmas were very nice and spent with family. Saturday my mom, grandma, and aunt threw me a baby shower/ mother blessing. It was such a cool day- I felt completely pampered. Some of my close friends were there, as well as the ladies from my family. I got henna on my belly and hand, and everyone brought a special bead to make a bracelet for me to wear during labor. They also all painted onesies for the baby, which came out really cute. I even had a wreath of flowers in my hair, which Taina made. We got some things we needed for the baby- I am so thankful for the showers and the lovely ladies hosting them (there will be another this coming weekend, for the West Palm and Miami crowds!); I don't know how we would have gotten everything on our own. Despite my efforts toward minimalism, there seems to be so many things needed for a new baby. We are so fortunate to have such wonderful family and friends.
Now our house is filling with baby things, and I'm realizing how soon he will be here- it is crazy to think about!
Baby Seth moves a lot still- now it's more pushing rather than the kicks I used to feel. Sometimes it's pretty uncomfortable, but I can't really complain too much- it's all such a miracle and still amazes me.
I plan to post some pictures from the shower when I get some- I didn't take any with my own camera, of course. Here's one of my belly from today though:

Mehndi is the art of painting on the body with henna- in many cultures all over the world, especially in India, it is believed to bestow blessings and good luck. Taina did such a great job with mine; I love it.

31 week belly picture

I almost didn't take one this week :-o
This is at 31 weeks 6 days, but it still counts :)

Finally some ultrasound pics... and "I am a bird- watch me nest"

Ultrasound at 31 weeks:

I love this one- it looks like he's waving and smiling at us.


Another of his face, sideways.

When we went to get the ultrasound done yesterday, they told us it was too late in the pregnancy to get any good pictures from a 3D, and that it would be a waste of money. I was a little bummed at first, but with the 2D (regular) ultrasound we were able to get these shots of his face, and that is totally good enough for me. I'm excited to finally have pictures of my little guy! He is head down, low in my pelvis, and apparently measuring two weeks larger than my due date. The doctor said that either means my due date is off (quite possible considering I didn't get a 1st trimester sonogram), or he is just a really big baby. I'm hoping for the first... :)

We have now officially rearranged our closet and made room for Seth's clothes and whatnot- we're ready for whatever goodies the coming baby showers may bring. I get bursts of the nesting instinct where I just want to clean and organize everything. I always have to-do lists on my days off. And when I am not doing that I'm probably reading something baby-related. I also plan on starting a bunch of holiday baking soon, and I've been knitting a blanket for Seth. I feel so domestic! Manny and I got a bunch of Christmas shopping done yesterday- figured we'd better get on it considering that it's a week from tomorrow...

30 weeks... and getting ready for holidays

These shots are from our holiday/maternity photo shoot, taken yesterday by my awesome mother. There are more posted on my facebook page. We had a great time walking around downtown in Stuart.
Suddenly we're really close to Christmas- I'm not really sure what happened. I have all kinds of baking, shopping and other things I want to do in the next few weeks. I am trying to pace myself though, because I get tired more easily now and need to rest more frequently and not be on my feet too much. I can easily tell when I am pushing myself too much- my body makes it quite clear- but I have to remember to actually take it easy for the baby's sake rather than keep going. It is frustrating to have physical limitations, but it is for such a good cause :)
My last day at the library is going to be January 27th. I'll be sad to leave- I love my job- but I'm getting so excited that we'll actually meet our little guy in 10 weeks or so (well actually nine since I'll be 31 weeks tomorrow!)

Reflections on Identity

Lately I have this unsettled feeling sometimes about becoming a mother. This shouldn't be taken the wrong way- I am overjoyed at the whole thing. But sometimes I wonder if I will completely lose myself. You meet people- especially moms who stay at home with their children, who become nothing but mom. Everything they were before the baby seems to disappear- it gets buried so deep inside that it is hardly a part of who she is anymore. I know that my life is changing, completely and permanently, but I also know that it is possible- and I think very important for mine and my child's well being- to remain as much "me" as ever. I have dreams and passions that I have to work to hold on to in the midst of all the intense change. I can incorporate them into the way I raise my baby, rather than throwing them to the side and becoming someone else. But it must be a conscious effort, not to be a "normal" mother- but rather to be myself, as a mother. I am not afraid of being unconventional- I more afraid not to be. Unique and thinking parents are destined to raise unique and thinking children.

29 weeks

Manny took these pictures last night after the library's holiday party. It was a nice time, and Manny met most of the people I work with.

I finished my last paper on Thursday, which is of course a hue relief. We decorated the Christmas tree the other day, which was fun. There isn't a whole lot happening right now- nice for a change.

28 weeks

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Manny worked all day, but we had a nice dinner with his parents when he got home.
We're going to get our Christmas tree this evening- definitely looking forward to that.
My classes end this week- I have one term paper due tonight, which I've finished, and one really hard one due Thursday, which I plan on working on for most of today. I'm so glad to be so close to the end of the semester- it was a tough one for sure.
The baby is strong and I feel him moving all the time now. He is about 15 inches long and the weight of a bok choy (Chinese cabbage) this week:

He can blink his eyes now, and they have lashes. Manny plays games with him by poking my belly and waiting for him to poke back- it's pretty cute. I've been feeling really good, though some days are much more uncomfortable than others. I think that yoga has really been a huge factor in how I feel. We're going to brave Babies r Us later on to finish registering there- we've already finished the one at Target. This will be my first time actually going into Babies r Us, and from what I hear it can be somewhat overwhelming. I'm not really so into all the gadgetry and materialism that has been associated with having a baby- it's better to keep things more simple- but still, there are things you need, and I am so thankful to be having baby showers so we'll get some of those things.
Signing off now. -H

3rd trimester is here!

27 weeks belly picture:



This is going by fast- it's hard to believe that my due date is only a few months away now! The baby is growing and is really strong- he presses on both sides of my belly at the same time, and sometimes on my ribs too. He's woken me up in the morning with kicks and rolls- sometimes it gets a bit uncomfortable but I definitely wouldn't want him to stop.

I have been feeling really great- I am so thankful that I'm having a healthy pregnancy. I'm tired a lot and have random aches, etc, but for the most part I'm really enjoying the whole thing. I feel like I am constantly bonding with my little guy already too, which is awesome.

Ten days left in this semester, which is a blessing and a curse because I still have so much left to do and now the time I have to get it done is dwindling. In fact, that's what I'll be doing for the rest of the day.

Some thoughts

I wish I had been even more active up until this point in my pregnancy, but I am planning on walking more and have been doing my prenatal yoga almost every day. It is so, so important to exercise during pregnancy; my midwife says that besides making for a healthier baby it can make labor much easier (and goodness knows I am an advocate of that!)
I have spent most of the last six months kind of stressed, and while I have tried my best to relax and minimize the tension for the sake of the baby, I really wish I could have slowed down, and not had so much on my plate. The combination of work and taking two classes in school, while pregnant, has stretched me too far. I cannot count how many times I have broken down in exasperated tears (aided of course by the pregnancy hormones).
After December 4th, when I turn in my last school paper, I am going to slow down and really be present in the last few months of my pregnancy. I want to allow myself to be prepared for motherhood, and I haven't devoted as much time to that as I would like to because of everything else that is going on. It has been so hard to focus on anything else anyway- it seems so natural to me to think almost constantly about the little person inside me... it kind of puts me in a funny daze- a very introspective and peaceful state. That state is what comes naturally to me right now. It makes me want to write and make things and go for longs walks and completely lose track of time and busyness. I have to force myself to remain responsible and on top of things, but I am craving the ability to just let go.
I am so in love with my husband... there aren't even words for how deeply thankful I am for him, for our intense friendship.
Yet I do wish for women to talk to, especially other young moms and moms-to-be. I rarely see any of my female friends anymore- most don't live nearby. I miss the mentoring, the advice and understanding between women. It is so strange not to have any friends that live close- I got so used to that when I was in college. Now it is just me and Manny. And I have discovered that I hate cell phones for the purpose of actual conversations (especially since most of the time I lose my connection several times and have to call the person back).
I am hoping that after the baby is born I will meet other new moms that I can connect with.

If you just read all of that, I applaud you. Tomorrow I'll come back and read this and probably find that none of this really made sense and I probably shouldn't post public blog entries for all to see when I can barely keep my eyes open...
goodnight!

26 weeks

So this is the last week of my 2nd trimester. I can't believe how fast it seems to be going by. I've had several people comment recently that my belly has grown a lot on the last couple of weeks, and I guess it kind of feels bigger, if that is possible.
I have still sort of been rounding out the registry lists, and sometime soon Manny and I are going to go to Babies "r" Us and add things in the store. I try to go by lists of recommendations and what other people tell me, but the fact is it is hard to know exactly what we will want and need when he is actually here. Looking at all the stuff can be fun, but I think there is a lot of commercial hype about baby stuff and they market to neurotic new parents- really babies' needs are pretty simple and I'm not too worried about not having everything.
I have been doing lots of reading and research on cloth diapers and I'm really convinced that I can handle it and that it is better than disposables in many ways. People tend to look at me like I'm crazy if I tell them that's what we're planning to do, but I think they are mostly unaware of the new cloth diapers that make it really easy and basically as clean as disposables. This blog by a mom I found online explains why they are so great, and she wrote this one about the process she uses with them and which kinds she likes, which I found super helpful. We're going to start out by renting a newborn size package from sunshinediapers.com, so all we will really need to by right away is covers for those. When he is big enough (about 10lbs) I want to try the all-in-one kind, which are really easy because they go on just like a disposable and expand to fit from 10lbs to potty training.
Anyway... it is time to get ready for a nice long 10 hour workday now. Possibly another 26 week picture coming later- one that includes my face :)

Lots to Learn

25 week belly picture:

This weekend I went to my childbirth class Friday night and all day Saturday. Manny and my mom came too, though on Saturday it was just me and mom because Manny had to work. It was a really great class- I feel much better about giving birth now, and actually I'm really excited to be having a home birth. It was good to meet other pregnant ladies and their husbands- there were two other couples whose due dates are very close to mine, and it was really fun to talk to them. There was such a huge amount of information to absorb that it was a tad overwhelming, and I hope I remember it when I actually need it. I think it will come back to me though. There is so much to know, especially about taking care of a newborn, but I think that when the time comes instinct will play an important role as well.
I have been so emotional over the last few days- much more so than usual. And I'm having some super weird dreams, and lots of cramps... I've been totally stressed out. School is really tough, and I have a paper that has kind of been freaking me out. As soon as I'm done with it I'm taking a day to relax and regroup. Working and taking two classes while pregnant is challenging. I'll be relieved when the semester is over and I don't have to feel guilty about reading parenting books anymore. Just a few more weeks.
Seth is super active as usual- I amazed at how often he kicks. Yesterday I felt him really high up- near my ribs- which was a very strange feeling. Manny and I both talk to him, and I play music loud enough for him to hear- it's really cool to feel so connected to him already, I love it and can't wait to meet him.

Six Random Facts About Me

First, a new picture:

24 weeks- Seth just keeps growing and growing!

Now, my 6 Facts:
(I was tagged to do this by the lovely Adrienne)
1. I have a very early memory of walking on a dirt or gravel road with my father- I must have been about 2 years old, maybe 3. That is the earliest memory I have.
2. I changed my mind about my major many times in college- I went through pre-veterinary, marine biology, education, graphic design, humanities, dance, cross-cultural studies, biblical studies, and finally, communication studies. I'm interested in everything, which I guess is why I ended up doing library science for grad school.
3. I want to travel, but I have also always wanted to live overseas too. There probably isn't a single country in the world I wouldn't want to at least visit someday. When I travel, I prefer to really experience the culture of a place and immerse myself in it.
4. I may very likely have read more books in the last year than I did the entire three years I spent at Palm Beach Atlantic. (Especially since I've started my master's degree.) And I really love to read.
5. I would like to adopt a baby from China someday, maybe when our own children are teenagers. I have wanted to do this since I was about 12.
6. I love music, and have learned at least the basics of piano, tenor & baritone sax, clarinet, trumpet, flute, violin and guitar... but I have never gotten very far with any of them. I wish I was more musically talented then I am, and I really respect people who have mastered an instrument.

What an amazing day!

This morning Manny and I went to B&N/Starbuck's for my birthday breakfast, and at 1pm I had a midwife appointment. Everything looked good with the baby, and Connie gave us the information to schedule our ultrasound. I called, and was able to get an appointment for today!! And.....

It's a boy!!!

Manny and I are so over the moon about little Seth Alexander- it all seems so much more real now that we have seen him and can call him by his name! He wasn't shy at all, and even yawned and stuck his tongue out for us :) He's beautiful, and appears to have my nose, hehe. Everything looks perfect and healthy- we are so, so happy. The tech said he is measuring 25 weeks 1 day, instead of 24 weeks, so we will see if Connie wants to officially change my due date or continue going by the original calculations. If it does change I will be due February 9th. We couldn't get a printed picture, which was a little sad- they don't have the equipment to print them out at the place we went. We'll be taking lots of pictures of Seth once he's here though :)
This evening we went to my favorite Thai restaurant for dinner. Overall, it was a pretty amazing and memorable birthday!

Resting today

I started feeling Braxton Hicks contractions yesterday- they are harmless tightenings of the uterus as it prepares and strengthens itself for labor. They don't hurt, but they are uncomfortable, and I have also been cramping more than usual so my midwife told me to really take it easy today and drink lots of fluids. Luckily I have today and tomorrow off from work anyway, so I'll stay home and get a lot done for school while I rest. I do wish I could go out and get a blueberry muffin though- I am definitely craving them... :)